Forbidden Love

Forbidden~
hmmm as u all know i always have a 'THING' for Malay guys~ hahahahahaha

yeahh~
i know it requires alot of sacrifice to actually be with the one i love.
but i didnt know it would be that terrifying after i read a book called forbidden love. i got it randomly in my library~ ;p
it's about a love story.. Christian and Muslim~ Cool??!!
anything familiar to u?? hahahahaha

it's kinda like Malay and Chinese in Malaysia~
but our rules are not as strik as in Jordan, Arab~ grateful about it! i really cant imagine being tied up like the Arabian woman~
i would go crazy.. even for half a day~ damn!!!

by the way~ this story really struck my hard~ it's like BAMMM!!! something hit hard on my head~
i never really realised what i had brought myself into.. i mean having that 'thing' for Malay guys..
it's not really "forbidden" in Malaysia. but i didnt consider the consequences..
=.=lll i dont know what am i thinking.. well it's not my fault that i am attracted to them. i just cant control myself..

i tried really hard to like Chinese guys ok!
i really do!
but i cant find anything that interest me.. they r stereotype.. the hair style.. the dressing.. the thinking.. the way they talk~ they way they walk~
i dont seem to feel that i belong to any of the categories though~
sometimes i feel like.. i cant fit in~ like i dont belong here... i feel like i am all alone in this empty hollow world.
where am i????

i am lost totally~
hmm but really do enjoying reading the book~ :) although i m not finish yet~ hahaha
this book also talks about women's right!!
yeahh imagine if i were born in Arab~ i have no rights to do anything~
i had to listen to MEN!! that's so not me..
i dont really 'obey' anyone.. hahahahahaha and u want me to be controlled by Men??

hahahahahaha no way~
that's not my Principe of life at all~
and being controlled is no life at all~

well, for me. if i really love someone.. and that someone loves me too~
and if and only if we r not from the same religion i would run away with him~
to a place that we can live freely..
but i dont think my dad would stab 12 times in my chest just like the girl in the book when her father found out that she was dating a christian guy~ and even called her a whore..

ewwww they didnt even fuck??
hmmm
i came to realised that. i am an alien. from out of space. here to observe humans. or am i just a weirdo myself??? I DONT KNOW!

but i do know something.
i am waiting for a prince.. to save me. from everything.. mybe another alien of my own kind. i dont know..

can i sat i leave it all to god??
no~ cuz i dont think god would ever give me such guy~ so there's no use to pray for it.
it will never happen~
i am always dreaming..

forever is.. forever will..

dear god. i do love you~ and i hope that you show me some signs..
i've been praying so hard that.. sometimes i feel like giving up~
please dont let me do that..
please let my faith say strong with you!
Please..
in the name of god i ask for your guidance and protection.. Amen

101

heeeeee celebrate the blog! it's the 101 post!

COOL~

hidup aku tidak sempurna.
aku bagai hidup dalam neraka~

dalam bilik yang busuk, hapak.. dan bau coli busuk~
dengan orang yang aku harapkan dia mati~

alagkah baik jika aku tiada disini~
kalau nasib aku baik~

tetapi semua itu tidak mungkin terjadi~
di mana putera ku??
aku bukan superwoman
walaupun aku gagoh perkasa..
tapi aku betul2 tidak boleh tahan dengan keadaan sekarang.

aku ingin sangat ade seseorang menghulurkan tangan dan bawa ku lari daripada semua ini!
aku tak kisah ke mana orang itu nak bawa aku~ janji aku keluar dari neraka ini~

aku hampir tumbang~
Tolong aku???

where is my prince to save me from hell~

-101 middle finger to bitchy witch-

The Ugly Truth

:)

people hate to know the truth.
why?? because they r afraid.. afraid that what they thought was actually their imagination.
It was not what it really was.

since people hate to know the truth, they learnt to fake~
yeahhh fake everything

don't be surprise that if one day you found out that you husband was not the guy you used to date.
althought they might be physically identical but their character maybe be totally different. and that's the ugly truth that leads to divorse.

same as guys. who love hot sexy skinny bitch~ one day you will realised that she is not the one you love. Padan muke! hahahahaha

why r girls now a day killing themself to be skinny??
simple just to impress dumb GUYS! ass hole~

and guys don't fall in love.
they fall in LUST!
all they think about is to 'pop' the cherry!
dont you girls realise?? they like you because of your body and not who you really r~
they dont see it if u r more beautiful inside.. all they think about is how you make them feel good in bed!
once they got you.. they treat you like.. i dont know.. rubbish??

i know i am fat, bitch! unfortunatly i m not fake like those skinny bitch out there~
yeah i am so stupid that i actually thought that i would find a guy that like me for who i am~

nahhh i was stupid.. guys love skinny faking fucking bitch~
guys won't like me, even my own father said that :)

yeahhh~ what i m is not important. how i live is what i prefer people to know~
i know that i m fat. but i know how fat i am. i can estimate ok~

i m fat but i wont cause earth quakes when i jump (no one in this world will)
i m fat but i wont cause the swimming pool to dry up when i jump into the pool(no one will)
I m fat but i cant swallow a cow
I m fat but i can dress nice and be pretty
i m fat but i can live a normal life
I m fat but i have feelings
don't you ever realise??
I m fat but i got to ammit that i dream of having someone to like me
I m fat with dignity
I am fat.

yeah fat people r just laughing stock to joke about~
NO you r fucking wrong~

This is my own version of the ugly truth~

who cares

who cares if they know all about them~

what's so fucking great about them

they r bunch of colour..

wat ever.. i wont be sucking dick at least and swallowing other people's tongue..

Pagi 3 December yang CERAH!

yeah, that's my new look :)
pada pagi yang mulia ini~ aku malas nak bangun.. so ponteng lecture.. huuuuuu :P



soryyyyyy



hehehe



tido lewat sangat~

english pulak~ ;)



i watched new moon with my sister on monday! damn it was nice :D

i totally fall in love again and again woth jacob black!

hahaha

i just love his abs~ and his skin tone.. and him.. and his hair ohhh i love everything about him!!!

i like edward too but i think if i were bella swan i would chose jacob~



damn bella is so lucky to have to guys protecting her..

and she's not lonely.. unlike me :)

i had to do everything alone.. lol that's ok one day my monk will come to me.. hahahaha

know why i use the word monk?? cuz i like guys with really short hair and monk don't date.. so i probably wont get the chance to find him for the rest of my life :P



and i cut my hair real short! REAL SHORT! hahaha



if cutting my hair would let me start again and forget about him.. i would like to be bold! :D

it really hurts to see my beloved beautiful messy hair being cut.. but it hurts more when i think about him

but that's old story! since i cut my hair new life begin! ok new life..



and porm nitght sucks! but luckily my muscle man was there! hahahaha

i do hope that we can be friends.. start from the basic.. but i dont think it's possible. so why bother thinking.. huuuuu



i think i am depressed.. i need inspirations.. i need a doctorrrrrrrrrrrrr! woooooooow!!!

HELLO

hehehe just wanna tell you guys that i m not crazy to update so many post in one shot~

that are all the stuff i wrote when i cant publish :D

since the connection is good! so i upload everything :)

Lonely night

I am alone in the room.. not my hostel room but my aunt’s house.

Just came back from JB~

I love it! It just drives me back to my childhood! When my cousins and I are close J

When we used to play together and laugh as we want!

Eating nice food and playing games.. watching tv till middle of the night and share stories J

I miss it! And that also made me realized I am not alone..

Today, before coming back to kl~

My aunt stop by yong peng! An old hose of my grandmother..

Omg my tears were about the shed.. it’s been years sins I last visited that house.

I think the last time was when ,my grandfather passed away~

And that’s it..

The house used to be crowded with children and relatives J

That was like a place we gather during holidays.. where my cousin and I college our childhood memories lol

That place means a lot to me.. I think it means a lot to others too…

Being the eldest.. I see all of my cousins growing up~ and I felt old~ hahahaha seriously~

But I am glad that they are all healthy and smart!

I love them so much! I don’t want to lost contact with any of them~

Seriously..

I think I am gonna cry~ why must the good times fly??

I want to keep them~

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

From now on.. there’s no more super no.1

It’s just me J